Before I was a teacher, I was a roofer. Before I was a roofer, I worked at a home for disadvantaged youth — kids who were kicked out of their homes, kids who’d been in and out of jail, kids who moved in and out of foster care. Working in this home made a great impact on the person I’ve become and prepared me for the work I do today. If anything, working in that youth home was the impetus for my becoming a teacher.
This was seven years ago, when I was newly married, working my first “adult” job, and something that interested me because of my wife’s experience and interest in social work. She’d worked in this shelter as “staff,” and her stories from that work led me to apply for a position the minute one opened.
I only worked there one year, and my only reason for leaving was that my wife and I moved out of state so she could attend graduate school. Today, seven years later, I can’t get that place out of my head — the layout, the hallways, the rooms, the routines, the dinners we cooked, the hours we kept (I often worked graveyard shift during my own undergrad years, schooling on Thursdays, going home to have dinner, working throughout the night, waking the kids in the morning and getting them ready for school (including taking them to school), and then going back to my own school for the next days classes), driving around town so the kids could pretend to be on “the cruise,” and ultimately being one among many of the only formal ‘parents’ these kids had.
The one thing I’ve never forgotten is the kids. Today my wife and I got a letter in the mail from one of the kids who lived in the home while we were there. It reads:
Dear [Nobody] Family,
Hello how are you guys doing? I hope that you guys are doing great. I haven’t heard much about you, but that doesn’t mean I forgot who you are. I miss you living in [Sometown] and working at [The Youth Shelter]. Not because I enjoyed being a pain in th butt, yelling and screaming at you and beatting [sic] up other, but because you were one of the few staff who would listen to us when we needed to talk and you understood why most of us were there. you actually cared about all off [sic] us who were there without family and needed somebody, I really think that you didn’t think too much of how much money you made and how many hours you recived [sic]. I don’t know thta oyu have been told this but thanks for showing you care it really helps to know that somebody is there for you. I remember when I spent Thanksgiving with your family at your house in 2001 I think it was. That meant alot [sic] to me. you guys were awesome. As for what has been going on with me wll long story. I turned 18 married [Somebody] (yeah the boy who lived at [The Youth Shelter] and then we had a baby boy who we named [Something]. He is now 2, it went fast. [My Husband] and his friend were selling drugs in the home and when he turned 21 all he did was party and do drugs. Our relationship after that became abusive, I always stayed at home and took care of the baby. I got really depressed and started to do drugs again. The cops busted [My Husband] so we both got into trouble, I ended up getting five years probation (felony) and since how [My Husband] tried to take all blame he ended up in prison for six months and got out on probatioon. He couldn’t stay clean, or do what his probation officer asked so she put him back infront [sic] of the judge and now he has to serve his fixed time which is until 2010. I was doing really good with a full time job a place of my own on the hill and being a single mom. I don’t really recall what happened or how it happened but I slowly lost everything. I ended up in jail and sice [sic] how I don’t have one family member around here and [My Husband's] family is out of wack [sic], [Our Son] went to a home. I really think it is best for him while I get treatment and start over. I am going to get him back, because we all know I am a very good mom and my son means everything to me. I get to visit all the time and stuff. he is doing good, getting big, learning every day, and he is very safe away from crazy people and drugs. I have been clean since Feb. 2005 wich [sic] is when the cops busted us. I have no ideas to use drugs ever again. There are somethings [sic] I do need to learn about and recive [sic] treatment so that I can become independent and stay that way. I will keep intouch [sic] as much as I can. Look at the picture [she included a picture of herself and her son]. I am 21 years old now. CRAZY. Talk to you later. Bye!
Sincerely Always,
[Her Name]
Simply heartbreaking. And I know we’re going to respond with at least a letter. Although we were very young at the time we worked in The Youth Shelter, my wife and I often talked about taking this girl in as a foster child. Now she’s an adult, and I wonder what opportunities we all missed out on.
Filed under: Reflection
I was touched by this post. I too launched my career in teaching from working at a youth home and there are so many kids (now young adults or adults) that I wonder about. Thank you for sharing this. It brought back memories – some which were joyful and others which were heartbreaking. All those memories are valuable.
All those memories are valuable. Makes you wonder which ones are yours alone.
Wow
It shows the power of words, and memories, doesn’t it? And, how you can touch someone’s life in ways that aren’t clear to anyone until years later.
Just think what it must have been like for her to write the letter — it must have been on her mind for a long time and probably took a lot of courage on her part.
Thanks for sharing your world with us.
Sincerely
Kevin
My first teaching job was with children and adults with autism and other behavioral disorders. I often think about the children who I worked with there and how they are doing now. Some had disorders that could even shorten their life spans. That was 20 years ago – wow! – and in another state. I would love to know where some of them are now.
Yeah, I’ve been thinking a bit about hwat it must have taken for this girl to write this letter (and found out a bit more about her current situation). The story is still as heartbreking as ever.
its really touching .It is important to know more about ourselves more than who we are even then and today.shes really a great person to look back from past .