I’ve always had some trouble with teaching the five-paragraph essay as the be-all end-all of essays, but it’s what the state requires we teach — it shows up in state tests, it shows up on the district-wide final, and it shows up in the expectations for the following grades. I think I have the same feelings about this that brought Jeff Wasserman to write about the the reasons behind the 5-P essay.
But still, it must be taught (and I try to tell my kids the Essay for Dummies approach to writing this type of work:
- Tell me what you’re going to tell me
- Tell me
- Tell me
- Tell me
- Tell me what you just told me.
), and I think yesterday’s work helped get the students moving in that direction.
Why are we outlining the body of the essay first?
Because I think it’s easier to decide what you’re going to cover before diving in. You might as well know what you’re going to write about before you start writing about it. That’s why we outlined our three topics. With those in hand, we can build a thesis statement, or roadmap, for our essay.
Today we revisited the three Venn diagrams, and made sure we’d finished at least two of them. Then we began working on the introduction, and my rules for the intro are simple:
- 1. Do not use the word “I” in the introduction, or I’ll hand your paper back to you.
- 2. Do not use the word “you” in the introduction, or I’ll hand your paper back to you.
- 3. Do not use the word “my” in the introduction, or I’ll hand your paper back to you.
- 4. Do not use the phrase “this is my paper about ______” in the introduction, or I’ll hand your paper back to you.
- 5. Do not use the phrase “I hope you like it” in the introduction, or I’ll hand your paper back to you (not to mention the fact that it breaks the “I” rule; I should hand this paper back twice, and twice ungraded).
- 6. Do not use the phrase “In this essay, you will see/read/hear about ______” in the introduction, or I’ll hand your paper back to you.
Whyyyeeee?!?
‘Cause I don’t want you to tell me you’re writing an essay — I assigned it. Of course I know you wrote it. And I don’t want to know “what you will talk about,” for the same reasons. I don’t want you to tell me you “read a story called…” because I assigned that one, too, and I also assigned that “movie” you “watched.”
Which leaves what?
(Nothing, if you ask the students. So, we built a “gimme” thesis statement.)
How can you outline what’s in the paper?
[silence]
Ok. What three things are we going to cover in your essay, according to the outline we created on the board?
Uh, the characters, the plot, and the conflict.
Perfect! And how are you going to discuss those things?
Through compare and contrast?
Sorta. What’s another way of saying you’re going to compare and contrast. You tell people you’re going to look at the…
Similarities and differences!
Perfect. Ok. So, can we write a sentence that looks like this?
These stories have many similarities and differences, especially when you…
Especially when you what?
You said not to use “you” in the paper!
Ok, good. But before we take that out, what three things am I looking for in your paper.?
I don’t know.
Aren’t there three things you just outlined? Where you looked at all the similarities and differences between these two versions of “The Ransom of Red Chief?”
Oh, the characters, the plot, and the conflicts!
Dude! That’s, like, the perfect little thesis statement there! Check this out… let’s add that to what we already wrote:
These stories have many similarities and differences, especially when you look at the characters, the plot, and the conflicts.
Dude, that’s perfect. That tells me exactly what’s going to show up in your paper. Doesn’t it? Like, if this was part of the introduction, it tells me what’s coming next. For example, what’s the second paragraph of this paper going to talk about?
The Plot!
EHHHH! wrong. The introduction is the first paragraph, so what’s the second?
The characters.
good, and what will I see after that?
The plot.
And after that?
The conflicts.
And after that?
The conclusion.
Perfect. Now, about that “you” in the thesis statement. How do we get rid of that?
Ooh! Ooh! I know!
These stories have many similarities and differences, especially when the characters, the plot, and the conflicts are laid side by side.
Doooood
What?
That’s totally awesome.
Really?
That’s like college-level writing there. I mean it. It shows off exactly what’s coming next, it doesn’t treat the reader like a moron, and it tells me (sort of secretly) that you’re doing that compare/contrast thing. When you lay things side by side, you’re looking at all the similarities and differences, and you noted that without saying it. That’s good stuff right there!
So, can we use that in our essay?
Totally.
Really?
Totally.
Then what?
Then you realize I helped you write two of your three body paragraphs. We outlined them together, you just have to decide what’s most important to you. After that, you write your introduction paragraph, and I think you should do that by telling me your topic, name the author of the paper, and take a stance as to which version of the story was better. Here’s that list from yesterday.
Introduction: Name the subject of your essay.
- Define the subject of your essay.
- Explain that you are examining the similarities and differences between two versions of your subject.
- List the topics you’ll explain — (that’s your thesis statement)
- 7 sentences minimum
Subject # 1 — Explain in 7 sentences
Subject # 2 — Explain in 7 sentences
Subject # 3 — Explain in 7 sentences
Conclusion: Remind me what you wrote in the essay.
- Explain in one sentence each the three subjects discussed
- Give me your thoughts on the subject.
- Which is better, and why is it better?
Half your work is done for you. You have the rest of the hour, as well as some time tomorrow, to complete your draft of this paper. Get to work in silence…and if you have your iPod with you, please plug it into your head.
And, believe it or not, they got to work.
And, believe it or not, several came to show off their introduction paragraphs.
And, believe it or not, they didn’t mind when I critiqued their work.
As a matter of fact, those whose work I critiqued, told me “Thanks!” at the end.
Filed under: Lesson Plans, Questions, Teaching, Writing, compare and contrast, essay, expository writing, students, thesis statement
In the thesis statment, you used the word “you.” I thought that wasn’t allowed. i am not trying to be smart here, but I would have been confused on that.
Umm, my apologies, I read through it again and at the final one. “You” is not used in the final thesis statement.
Right…the whole exercise was to get the students to get rid of the “you” in their thesis statements. I started off with a gimme thesis statement that included the awful word, and the students were quick to correct me. It was that correction which helped us build the better thesis statement.
Thanks for rereading!
Yes umm whoever wrote this needs to lay off the crank and learn how to explain things the right way…This told me nothing about what a thesis is and how to write one.For future reference i would suggest you read what you write and see if you understand it. Thanks for your time.
I am probably older then all of your students and those who replied. This was a great explanation of what you are looking for in an essay and how you explained to your students. Those with negative responses must not be reading what you have written. A thesis paper and the thesis of a paper are two different things Of course you know that but whoever was looking to have a paper thesis explained needs to look elsewhere.
This explaination is FANTASTIC! I understand it completely and i’m off to write the best essay of the class! Plus it’s the last essay for this quarter so it HAS to be perfect. Also, teaching has no “right” way. If the person on the other end of the class can understand, listen, most of all LEARN and not MEMORIZE, then you are great at the job. And yes, i will say thanks.